In other news, since the home cleaning front is not so great, I have a story about our hamster. Punkin has a hamster. The Beard thought it would be fun to get her a hamster. So when the goldfish all died last summer, we headed out to the fish store to buy fish, and came home with a hamster. Punkin named him Hanon*. Hanon is a little cutie (in a rat sort of way), but he can get himself into a lot of trouble. You might also need to know that we have 3 Cats. Cats like hamsters. For dinner. Our oldest cat, Cleo, doesn't have claws, and his old enough that a hamster holds no appeal for her. Our youngest cat, Fala, is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. She just wants to be friends with everyone, including hamsters, goldfish, other cats, strange cats, piano students, but not me. When I pick her up, she does that push-away thing that cats do when they want to get down, with that panicked look on their faces. On the other hand, our middle cat, Daisy, has the hunting instinct. If we let her go outside, I'm sure we would have constant gifts of small birds, rodents, squirrels, bugs, and whatever else she could find to bring in. I’ve set the stage; you know the players.
Hanon is a clever hamster. I'd kind of like to rename him Houdini. Hanon had a cute little cage that we got when he was new and small. It was a small cage, and he was a small hamster. But he got bigger. And stronger. Soon enough, he had learned how to open the cage door. Of course, because hamsters are nocturnal, he mostly did this at night. I walked into the bathroom one night in the middle of the night, in the dark, and wondered what the little white spot of something was on the floor. As I let the cat, Fala, into the bathroom, I realized that it was not a dryer sheet or toilet roll. So I turned the light on, and sure enough, it was a hamster. Little did Hanon know, that he was moments away from being eaten or stepped on the middle of the night in the dark. I quickly threw Fala out of the room, did my thing, and threw the hamster back into his cage. Maybe not in that order. He was so lucky that I have found him first, and not Daisy (the huntress). He was also lucky that he did not fallen off the counter into the toilet and drowned. He was also lucky that he had not fallen off the counter and died period. He’s pretty much just a lucky little guy. I think I’ll have him choose lotto numbers for me. Maybe I can put a grid of numbers on the bottom of his cage and check where the poops land.
A few nights later, the same thing happened. It turned out that Hanon had outgrown his cage. He was a big enough to open the door himself. So we safety pinned it closed. That kept him in his cage for a while. But we realized that he was a bigger hamster than he was before, and so we bought a bigger cage. This cage sits on top of the former fish tank. It's a much larger cage and he has lots more room to run around—three levels of room to run around. We put a very large treadmill in, and he runs for extended periods of time on the treadmill. I have heard him run nonstop for half an hour. I was trying to fall asleep at the time. It seemed like he ought to be done in a second, but he kept going 30 minutes straight.
One night, as I lay in bed reading (insomnia is a terrible thing), Cleo, the cat with the fluffy tail, jumped up on the bed and curled up on The Beard's feet. I kept reading. After five minutes or so, Fala came in. I noticed that she was walking fairly slowly and she seemed to have chased Cleo under the bed. I could see her tail out of the corner of my eye. “Hmmmm. . .” I thought to myself. “Cleo is on the bed.” So I checked. Cleo *was* on the bed. What had Fala found to play with that was fluffy, and looked like Cleo's tail? Or maybe a feather duster? A feather duster that moved. So I sat up and looked, and it was Hanon! Halfway across the bedroom floor, her concentration completely focused on the hamster, sat Daisy, in full stalk mode. I leapt out of bed and slowly reached for the hamster. If I spooked him, he would run under the bed, and I might never find him, certainly not before Daisy did. Luckily, he sat there in his cute way, with his paws in front of him, and his beady little eyes looking up at me. I grabbed him. This made him nervous. (Me holding him made him nervous, whereas Daisy approaching him with death in her eyes didn't even register. So much for instinct.) I made for Punkin’s room, and tried to open the top of the cage one-handed, which is when he made his move. He leapt from my hand and landed on the dresser (There might have been an expletive. Luckily, Punkin is a sound sleeper). I wrestled him back into his cage, locked the cage securely, and went back to bed. My heart was going a mile a minute.
Lucky little guy, no? If I hadn’t been awake, he’d have been a quick kitty snack for sure. It turned out that Punkin had left the top of the cage open when she fed him that night. I found it open again a couple of nights later, but no escape had occurred that time. Thank goodness. My insomnia is over for now, so he’ll have to duke it out with the cats if he gets out again.
*Charles Louis Hanon composed a set of standard piano exercises/tortures. Punkin just started playing them toward the end of last year. We liked that “Hanon” sounds like “hamster,” and also the treadmill that he runs on reminds us of piano exercises. We have a weird household.